Demolition

Demolition

I can’t feel through this darkness anymore
I’m working through a dream with no light
in a tunnel-envisioned life
full of wondering what will be
and every other cliché that could plague
my imagination

you’re not my friend—and I do not wish
that the chains binding you to me are a friendship-shade of grey
I want you in my veins—to paint my vision red with the blood
that should pound through the shackles binding me to you

if you kissed me
I’d submit
if I kissed you
you’d throw away the key

at least I hope you would

but all these “if’s” don’t light the way
they give false hope of foresight
in a life poisoned with what was

play me the music of your heart
the beating plays me to a reverie,
guiding me through the abyss of now
with the echo of your presence
making my hair stand up

Do you feel like making a fire—
so I at least can see your calculations?
is my libido flammable to you—
have you been stealing the oxygen from my life
to douse me, forcing me
in this darkness of your indifference and visible absence?

the sun won’t shine again unless
I grow some wings and fly northward—
believe enough in the legendary strength
in this composure of mine
to shatter the ceiling you constructed with your
stone and cement blending all your tales
into a how-to manual on burying
hope

you lied to me with a key, a kiss
an embrace at 2 am that felt like business
at 5
no key means no lock means no blood
to share in the sacrament of voluntary
two-way
enslavement

what a show, what a dream

here’s the moment—
I stole from your agenda
to take a chance and begin my ascent,
phoenix my way out of your ashen world
and reunite with—

there it is, the answer to the question of what the hell
were we doing, losing you and I in the
telescope of what could be
while we couldn’t agree—

the answer’s in the way it ended,
for you know what they say about tunnels