Faith--poem

I don’t know what I’m looking for—
it’s hard to say, in the dark
until I see lights at the end of some tunnel that I’m searching for
searching for the opening to a brighter future
where grounded certainty melts into anti-gravity belief
in something bigger, something cliché but so much better
than that written stuff in
library books
and verses from a man who claims to speak
the Truths of
whomever reigns within and outside of this place called
Human existence

He? She? It?
all too contrite—
there’s something brewing inside me,
waiting to find the light
that glistens on the feathers of His wings and Her wings and theirs
beating in the sun-ray magic of whenever-o’clock to shine upon me
when a smile hits my face or anger thrusts out between my teeth
and clenches my heart in its fist
or drowns my eyes in acid tears from the times when I forgot
what it means to breathe Your Love

I’m in your tunnel, your realm of mystery that you dubbed
Life
with all the love you could muster and inject into beings
that sometimes look a stranger to your vision of what
we could be
I’m in your world, and all the while,
some messengers have encrypted your lyrics
that were meant to be sung
instead of warped into an eerie bedtime story
that scares faith into ultimatums, pulling it away from the
drive pushing foot before foot, through the cool night air,
onward to what you said in my heart
is Tomorrow with glory on my side,
because you’re not walking with me,
you’re inside me
you are me
and so much more—
I can’t call you by name,
for none would do

but I believe,
yes,
I believe in You.